Sarrah is tantra practitioner devoted to helping others reach a higher plane of passion and pleasure. She realized early on that the only way to get there was through a holistic approach. You can’t make love better if you do not love yourself, you can’t feel more in intercourse if you are not in touch with your body. She developed her techniques by studying tantra, mixing in evolutionary biology, and adapting it for practical use in the modern world.
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Men’s Common Complaints About Sexuality
Mike: I want to set all this up and bring Sarah and talk about what, what can we do as, cause you, you worked specifically with men. I want to get into how is it that we can improve our sex life even if we don't have a partner. And before we get into that, can you give us a quick bio on how you got into the position you are in?
Sarrah: For me, it's been a long journey actually. That started with yoga and I followed the yoga path and I ended up in India studying Contra and became certified as a Tantra teacher there. I went back because I needed more. I went to India twice and got additional certification. And then I, became certified as a coach to be a sex love and relationship coach.
And I specialized in men's sexuality and in tantra in that program as well. It's been a great journey. I started out coaching women primarily. Well first, I was working with all genders and then I moved into focusing on women in the women kept saying to me, please, Sarah, please work with the men. And so I looked at what was going on in society and, from the experiences that other women were telling me they were having, it was really that, it was time for there to be, more champions for men, empowering men right now because there's a lot that is actually trying to bring men down.
That is not good for any of us, right? Like strong women like myself. We're not attracted to men that are feeling disempowered. We’re attracted to men that are strong and confident and like really doing amazing things in the world. And I wanted to what I noticed is in my own life, it was hard to find that type of guy, and like really have great connection with him. And so I wanted to bring something to empower our guys to find that confidence, which starts with sexual confidence that first and foremost is like that internal sexual drive.
And then like, know when a guy knows that he's amazing in bed, like that really stems into every other aspect of his life. And I decided I was going to do it. There was an issue in society, there was a hole and I was going to fix it.
Mike: When guys come to work with you, what are some of their complaints?
Sarrah: A lot of the time guys come to me, they are not in relationship and they want to be, or they're in relationship and they're not happy with the sex that they're having. Maybe they have come out of a relationship that’s newly broken up or divorce or something and they really feel like during the time they in relationships, their sex life deteriorated. And they feel like maybe they lost their mojo or they're like, they've lost some sexual confidence because of that. They feel like maybe it's their fault their relationship ended because the sex wasn't as good as it should've been. That type of thing. And they want to make sure that does not happen again going forward. Or guys have sexual dysfunction that they're struggling with.
Many guys, like they'll go to their doctor and their doctor's like, Hey, this is all in your head. Go see a sex therapist, go see a sex coach, something like that, and in those types of issues, I can help because the program does a lot around the psychological and emotional components of how we show up, sexually.
It's a mixed bag. Some people are like really interested in tantra and they're super excited to learn the advanced tantric techniques and practices that are, you can't find in books. It's different. Different people, different things that they are looking for.
Mike: In my experience of being in your program, some of the concepts I had been introduced to because, I have read some tantra. I have even done a couple of tantric poojas. And it was like a nice introduction, but I did not know how to keep up the practice. It's like, Oh, sorry, okay, I go do this thing or I get this concept. I am going to use it when I use it. But one of the things nice about your program is there is this structure that is like, Oh, I am going to do this every day, wrung out of data.
So at least four or five days a week and it is 30 minutes, which was a challenge for me. But it is really nice. It is like, Oh, I know what is getting me results. You know, if you do these practices is just like working out like a man may not be obvious. The first week you get into like the third, fourth, fifth, six, we can go, Oh, I did not even know that you could feel like this. This is a different type of experience than what I was having before. I am curious what you see in our culture as a whole and mmm. Where, what, what do I have this picture of what the average American thinks a good sex is and my impression of what good sex is, is much higher than it used to be.
Changing the Conversation About Good Sex
Mike: I used to think good sex, check these boxes. But now I think about sex and I go, Whoa, it's way more expansive and a much, there's a lot more there then I could have imagined five years ago. Where are people at currently and what is possible?
Sarrah: I mean, a lot of people they will look up some, we had come across my site because they are looking for different sex positions or sex techniques. Like how do I make her squirt? How do I give her an orgasm? How do I go down on her or things like that? I in that is all fine and it's really important. But I like to think of those things as the basics. Like when you like learning how to walk and when it comes to sex, like these are just things that you've got to know.
And like, if you do not know that you're basically like way down on the bottom of the totem pole as far as what it comes to with the potential of sex. And then once you learn all of those things, like yeah, absolutely know how to make a woman squirt, know how to give her orgasms and all parts of her body, things like that, like no different sex positions, but like then expand and that's what tantra is. It is like going so far beyond, it is having sex with like not most people have sex with their mental body only because we're really in our head as a society.
Like it's so hard to get out of our heads. Not most people don't even, they're not even in touch with the sensations that are happening in their body when they're having sex. And when a guy ejaculates like that will be, an orgasmic experience for him. But it's more of like a release. Like it feels good. It's a release, but it's not life changing in any way.
Most women are not having orgasms that are changing their lives, like really shifting their perspective on themselves, on the universe, on their partner, things like that. And so that's what tantra does. Like it's like literally going into altered states of reality together. Like feeling you feeling like you're on a medicine journey, but you're not like just using your breath and the intimacy of yourself or with your partner. and it's like the base line of what people think good sex is typically is like, Oh, well I can make her squirt. You know, that was good sex or we had anal, that was great sex I could last a long time.
I could last a long time. I'm not the two-minute guy. But it's like, all right, no, we need to completely change the conversation of what good sex is.
Being In The Moment
Mike: My experience of it is most people are operating from just the biological perspective where there's the purpose of sex is to create offspring. Humans can go on that. That's pretty much, that's been the purpose of sex from a biological perspective. But then there is the purpose of sex from an energetic perspective expansion of consciousness, all these types of things.
The little bit of experience I've had with tantra is the energetics that are involved and the experiences that I'm having there are make getting off as the goal seemed really silly and I don't remember. I remember the first time, it was years ago I went to a One Taste event and it was Ben that was maybe five years ago.
And there's the whole concept of being in touch with the moment and getting out of what was it? It was like I actually got present to enjoying the journey instead of focusing on some destination and I just broke down and cried on the way home cause I realized.
Sarrah: Yeah. And that's something that they're actually really is a grief process that happens with people when they start experiencing this because they realize how much they've missed out on. And it's, it's interesting and thank you for sharing that because it's not a lot of people do, but it's like I went through that myself of like, wow, like so many years of denying my body the pleasure that is available and that I deserve to have in that I've really, truly crave to have for so long. And like now I finally get to experience it.